When your mortality hits you

This is where your pituitary is to be found

Yesterday I learned, as a consequence of a UK Biobank scan, that I have a Adonema of the Pituitary Gland.

I am to be booked to see a specialist as soon as possible, to see whether the discovery is fatal or not. I do not as yet know whether it is aggressive, benign (I wish) or what – only that it is already large.

I have no symptoms, although already I find myself noticing tiny little things such as a itch on one side of my neck and wondering – almost certainly paranoia, but this phase of not knowing can lead to that.

I don’t know whether or not I am in denial but I feel OK so far. I find myself wondering about sorting out wills, power of attorney, educating Suzanne about the house finances, whether or not to even bother submitting that tender for 18 months’ work (do I even want to spend my time doing leadership development if these really are to be my last years?)

I am deliberately not looking stuff up on the internet – let’s wait and see what the specialist says before risking really worrying myself.

Calm yet concerned – not just for me but for everyone else who will have to handle this.