I’m sitting flicking between the cricket and the rugby league, having got back from a lovely lunch and walk with Suzanne, Will and Niamh. I am also wondering what really matters.
I could be finishing and updating any of 3 websites I have on the go, or writing a proposal for a leader development programme, or attending to any of the many emails and voicemails that normally demand attention, or even gardening of doing housework…
But none of these things seem important, at least not as important as simply being with Suzanne and doing what I want to do. Regardless of the outcome of further investigations, I am thinking of retiring from most if not all of the various ways with which I fill my time.
I have often said that I now only do what I enjoy doing, yet I am starting to question that. Whilst I love the ringmastering, co-ordinating and networking, the detailed ‘donkey work’ associated with the Rivers Trust and the Catchment Hosting is really not to my taste, and certainly does not play to my strengths. I have removed myself by default from the EMCC – I made it clear what I was happy to do, but that was not enough and as I was not being heard I simply left them to it.
So what seems to matter most is love, simply being with Suzanne; getting MY needs met – is it time to stop accommodating so much ‘for the sake of peace and quiet’?